Recently, I have had conversations with some of my closest friends about my need to remember all of the horrible things that have happened in my life. In the past few years, much of my outlook on life has changed and I choose to be positive. Every day, it is a choice I make, to be happy. I spent many years choosing the opposite. Because of this, I spent many years of life with bad things happening to me.
Now, when people meet me and they see how happy I am, they automatically assume that nothing bad has ever happened in my entire life and I find myself insulted by this. I am insulted that they have cast this judgment on me. It is almost as though I feel that they are somehow invalidating the experience I have had because they are saying it never happened.
It makes me want to rush out and tell them everything horrible, but I refrain from doing that. Instead, I find myself thinking about the things over and over again. It turns out, I am not alone in this. As I confided in my friends this fact, that I often replay negative situations that have happened over and over again, I learned that many of my friends do to. We spent some time exploring this with one another and we came up with a few reasons we think it might be happening.
The reason that came up again and again is simply that we don’t want to forget everything that has happened to us. That by repeating it to ourselves we will remember all of the details. I understand this and I know this is one of the main reasons I am doing it.
I also know what I want to do next. I am going to write it all down.
Most people I know have an autobiography within them. If that describes you, I encourage you to write it down too! I can’t say what will happen, because I am just on this journey myself, just starting out. My hope for myself is that after I write it down, I can finally put the memories to rest. I can let go of the negative things from my past and truly move on from them. When someone says to me that I must be so happy because nothing bad has ever happened, I can just tell them to read the book ☺
Of course there is a bigger hope as well. When people learn of my story and they have been through similar things, they say it gives them hope and makes them feel like they can get through it too, because I did. I hope that after my story is written, it can help even more people who have been in similar situations to gain the self-confidence and self love to keep going and forge ahead on a new positive path.
If you have anything in your head that seems to be stuck on replay, write it down! Then, let me know how it goes. Are you able to think about it less? Did it help you feel better in any way? Do you think that reading it will help others to feel better?
I can’t wait to read anything you want to share!
Write it Down
September 10th, 2015