May 25th, 2015
Two different people have made me feel two very different ways about living alone.
While I know no one should be able to impact the way you feel about yourself or your life, I admit that last week I let that happen.
When the first person was quizzing me about what I did and if I was OCD. He asked if it is challenging to live with me. I told him that it probably depends who you ask. He inquired “Is there anyone to ask?” When I said no, he said “Well there is your answer.” Implying that I must live alone because it is too difficult to live with me.
That comment really hurt me. I’m still feeling the pains of going through a breakup and part of the journey has been realizing that both of us could have compromised more and in essence, been easier to live with. Maybe then it would have worked out.
The next day, another man asked if I live alone. Instantly, I found myself on the defensive. Clearly, the hurt from the day before was not completely healed. My reply was curt. Yes.
His reaction was almost the exact opposite of the person the day before. He was beyond impressed that I live on my own and pay for my apartment, my car and everything in my life by myself by running my own company.
I found myself feeling a little impressed and proud of myself as well.
It is interesting to me that I could feel two completely different ways about the exact same situation. It’s kind of like that with many things in my life.
My goal is to be so comfortable with myself and with everything I do, that either conversation about my living situation would make me feel the same way – the way I feel inside, not the way that external people/situations are making me feel. I hope that over time I can cultivate a happiness inside so great that no one else ever has the power to shake it.