May 10th, 2015
This is an exciting one for me.
I have a wonderful mother and two lovely grandmothers who are very much alive and well. I am very thankful for this! Today I got to speak to each of them and I am continuously reminded of how lucky and blessed I am every day! I send them love today and every day!
Today I am also sending lots of love to my children. That’s the intriguing thing about the path to adopting older children. Now that I am only a couple of years away, I can almost be sure that my children are already alive. They are on Earth! I don’t know where they are (or anything about them) but I am sending love.
As the day gets closer and closer (I am planning to start the process in about a year) a strange new thought has been filling my mind. My children may already be in foster care. They may already be waiting and praying for me every day. So on this Mother’s Day, I spent the day getting ready for them. I took the time to do the things I want to do as a mother.
I took care of the things that are already my responsibility. I watered my one plant (it’s a watermelon planted in my backyard). I cleaned my car down to every detail even making sure to get the door jams, the cloth seats and the front grill.
I video chatted with my mother and grandmother in Tampa and spent a while on the phone with my other grandmother in Chicago – family is very important and I am thankful for my virtual support systems.
I ended the night with a fun whirlwind of cleaning. Laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the counters, the toilet, the shower, sweeping and mopping. As I sit here to write this, everything I own is clean and the floors are drying.
I’m doing my best to take care of everything I have in the best way I can. I’m working to get into routines that allow me to take the best care of myself possible so that soon I can take care of others in the way that only a mother can.